The New York Post unloaded on Boston ahead of Tuesday night’s single-elimination wild-card playoff game between the Red Sox and the guys in pinstripes.
In an opinion piece headlined “Boston sucks — and these are all the reasons why,” the feisty tabloid listed myriad bullet points purporting to show why our city, home to world-class hospitals and universities, a booming biotech sector, and legions of young transplants who ride bicycles, is far inferior to the Big Apple.
The Post tweeted out a link to the screed along with a photo of a beaming woman clad in a T-shirt emblazoned with the phrase “BOSTON SUCKS” in all caps. The blustery op-ed, which cheekily credits “All New Yorkers” in the byline, threw dart after dart at the Athens of America.
Here’s a sampling:
▪ “Two seasons: Winter and road construction.”
▪ “Once spent $22 billion to dig a hole in the ground.”
▪ “Dunkin’ Donuts is considered fine dinin’.”
▪ “684,379 residents — equal to the number of crime, mob and heist movies set in the city.”
▪ “Deflategate. Spygate.”
▪ ”Pasquale ‘Patsy’ Parisi from ‘The Sopranos,’ talking about Boston: ‘That place is Scranton, with clams.’ “
▪ ”Having a ‘Happy Hour’ in a bar or restaurant is illegal.”
▪ ”Dueling is still legal — so long as it’s a Sunday and the governor is present.”
▪ ”Rap from New York: Jay-Z, Nas, Wu-Tang. Boston: Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.”
▪ ”Boston sex symbol: They wear the new flannel.”
▪ ”Did you see that Brady hug with Belichick? Hahahahahaha!”
▪ ”Faneuil Hall, the world’s first and most overrated food court.”
▪ ”The city that always sleeps. Most restaurants in Boston close at 10 p.m.”
You get the picture.
But we prefer to do our talking on the diamond.